An Interesting Invention
by silverfoxxy
Summary: Severus Snape hates valentines day. He also hates Gilderoy Lockhart. However, Gilderoy wants to appoligize. But are appologies always accepted? Snape/Lockhart


An Interesting Invention

Severus Snape absently flipped through his magazine, _Most Potente_. It was a primarily potions oriented magazine, with some excerpts and articles, on other scientific- Snape stopped. He was staring at the face of a handsome man. This man looked as if he had stepped off the cover of some insipid romance novel. He had piercing blue eyes, flowing blond curly hair and dazzling smile.

Lockhart.

Snape tore the advertisement out of the magazine, creating a loud ripping sound. As if he didn't have to see the man enough? Now the repulsive creature had to annoy him in his leisure time as well? The Lockhart on the magazine frowned and waved a tearful goodbye as Snape threw it into the fireplace.

There was a knock at the door. Snape sighed. What could Dumbledore want? It was no doubt Dumbledore, because no one else would dare to disturb him in his private quarters. Snape opened the door.

"Professor Snape," Lockhart said, beaming.

"How on earth did you find this room?" Snape asked icily. Gilderoy laughed.

"It's common knowledge, Professor Snape," Snape turned to fix him with a stare.

"I checked with Mr. Malfoy to be sure," Lockhart added with a knowing smile. "And I had been correct. Of course."

"Ten points from Slytherin." Snape whispered. He looked back at the cheerful blond.

"What," Snape said slowly, "do you want?" Lockhart smiled. Snape glared at him, and reached out to close the door.

"I just wanted to apologize," Lockhart said. Snape raised an eyebrow.

"For this morning," Lockhart continued, "Regarding the love potions. I'm terribly sorry." He gave Snape a sad look. "I'm fully aware that they are illegal, and you couldn't possibly make them for any of the students." Snape just stared at him.

"Well, is my apology accepted?" Lockhart asked, stroking a lock of his golden hair. Snape's eye twitched.

"Of course love potions are illegal." Snape said in a dark voice.

"Yes, that's what I just said," Lockhart beamed. Snape's eyes looked even blacker. "Apology accepted?"

"If I say yes will you go away?" Lockhart frowned.

"If you must know, I also came down to make sure you weren't lonely on Valentines Day." Lockhart said, fixing Snape with another of his puppylike looks. His eyes were very blue. He much resembled a fairytale prince. Gilderoy slowly ran a finger down his flawless cheek and down his shoulder. Snape had never met anyone more beautiful, or more annoying.

"I brought you this, too." Lockhart said, handing Snape an envelope. Snape stared at it suspiciously before absently tearing it open. In it was a valentine, bearing the words '_A Valentines Day Kiss for Professor Snape_." A spherical piece of foil rapped candy was attached.

"They're called chocolate kisses," Lockhart said happily, "I invented them." He flashed a gleaming grin, filled with perfect luminescent teeth.

"A kiss?" Snape read. Lockhart nodded.

"You know what you can do with your kiss?" Snape said, plucking it free and tossing the card into the fireplace. Lockhart gasped as the card suddenly exploded into flame.

"I…" Lockhart backed away slowly. Snape was smiling, and there was a strange look in his eye. He took an intimidating step towards Lockhart, then leapt forward slamming him against the dungeon wall. Lockhart managed one squeak before Snape's lips were pressed forcefully against the other mans. As expected, Lockhart's mouth was soft and sweet as Snape plundered it. Finally, breathing hard, the potion master pulled back.

"You are a terrible kisser," he told the blond.

"I've never kissed a man before." Gilderoy said, smoothing his curls back into place.

"Oh, please," snapped Snape. "That's no excuse. That kiss was terrible. Revolting. It was even…. sad." Snape finished. "truly, I cant believe your favorite holiday is valentines day." Lockhart drew himself up to his full height.

"Well," he said, "someone's certainly jealous. I happen to prefer women, unfortunately. However if I were a woman, I would certainly be drawn to your dark handsomeness, and mysterious soul."

"If _I_ were a woman," Snape said, "I would find you a complete imbecile, never read so much as a page of your-I use the term loosely-_books_, never let my children in your sight-certainly not in your classroom, and not allow you to come in a ten foot radius of me."

"It's good you're not a woman then," Lockhart said, leaning over to kiss Snape again. Lockhart slid a hand carelessly up Snape's thigh.

"Apology accepted. Get out!" Snape yelled. Lockhart sighed, stepping back into the hall. He turned to say something. Severus slammed the door before he began. Snape heaved an enormous sigh of relief at being alone again.

"Did Lockhart really find him handsome?" Snape wondered, unwrapping the chocolate kiss, and eating it.

It was good.

The end


End file.
